Not too long ago, single parent adoption was virtually impossible. Now that the number of abandoned children are fast growing, single parent adoption has become common.

Single parent adoption is growing steadily. Approximately 25 percent of adoptions of children with special needs are by single parents. Of the remaining adoptions, about 5 percent are by singles. While the bulk of these adoptions are done by women, approximately 10 percent of the membership of one single parent adoptive support group is male. Adoption by a single parent is still more difficult than by a married couple, but it can be done.

Single men and women who wish to adopt may face discouragement from friends, family, and some agencies that feel a single parent adoption is not as desirable for a child as is one with two parents. But research shows that children adopted by single parents compare favorably with other adopted children. While no one will deny that parenting is easier with two active parents sharing the burden, the fact is that in some cases, placement with a single parent may be the best option for a child. Some researchers feel that single parent homes may be the best choice for children who need focused, close relationships, such as older children who have been in foster care. And single fathers can sometimes be the best choice for boys who need strong role models and guidance along with love and nurturing.

Challenges of single parent adoption

* Some agencies (and countries, if you’re adopting internationally) still won’t work with singles.
* No one to help with “instant breaks,” those times when you just need to walk around the block or have 10 minutes to yourself.
* No financial back-up if you should lose your job, or your company should close.
* Only one parent to save for college educations.
* The complication of any business travel you might do: arrangements for babysitters, notifying your child’s teacher, and more.
* Dealing with “the daddy (mommy) question.” “Why don’t I have a daddy?” “When am I going to get a mommy?”
* You must cultivate a support network (babysitters, neighbors, friends, family) to help you in emergencies. It can be difficult to find the right people to provide what you need.
* The perception that only children with two parents grow up to be responsible, productive citizens.
* The potentially negative response from friends, family, and colleagues.

Advantages of single parent adoption

* The pre-adoption process is easier including the homestudy, and related paperwork. The paperwork is very extensive for international adoption and with a single parent there’s only one birth certificate, passport, proof of employment, etc.
* Single parents have no disagreements over whether to even adopt or whether to accept a particular referral or not.
* Depending on some children’s backgrounds, it may be beneficial for them to have a parent of one gender or the other.
* The child only has to learn the temperament and personality of one parent.
* If your child has attachment issues or reactive attachment disorder, their bonding and attachment process is clearly focused on one parent, not split between two.
* Disagreements between spouses as to parenting approaches are avoided.
* Changes in parenting approaches can be implemented instantly without having to work toward consensus.
* There’s no chance for children to “play” one parent against the other.
* Single parents can provide consistency in discipline.
* Generally, children of single parents are often more helpful, competent, and responsible about helping around the house because everyone is required to pitch in to make the household run.

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