A child being deserted by his parents can cause a severe trauma that will mirror through every aspect of child’s life. The baby will experience the mother’s loss as psychological death of his mother.  There will never be closure.

The baby feels he is abandoned and results to a lifelong inability to trust anyone. This experience will gradually affect him all through out his life. That is the reason why most of the adopted child fails to trust anyone because of the fear that he may be left alone again.

The baby perpetually  bothers as to why he wasn’t kept by his mom and will blame himself for not being good enough to be loved. Many adopted adult has this kind of burden that deters a good relationship to others. The child may also feel melancholic and remorseful as if he did something bad that decides his mom to leave  him.

As days pass by and as the child grows up, he may feel that he doesn’t belong to the family where he currently resides and will suffer self-esteem. He may decide not to get involve to any family activities and may prefer to be alone all by himself. He will feel like an outcast within the family who adopted him.

The child thinks of his mother and the reason behind why he was abandoned. This makes sense because the child longs for his mother and misses her terribly!  There is a wound there that can never be filled by anyone other than the mother!  This could cause the child to have trouble concentrating on his school work.  The child may be labeled a “dreamer” or a “bad student” which will harm his chances to succeed in life.  the adopters might not understand the reason for the child’s lack of concentration and this might cause him to be misdiagnosed as having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).  If misdiagnosed, the child will be forced to take medication he will not need.

The child will loose his true identity while the adopters will try to force him to be like them.  The reason for this is so that the adopters won’t be reminded that the child isn’t really theirs.  The adopters would want the true traits that the child inherits from his family to go away.  The child will not be allowed to be himself.

The child will have no sense of his past which will make it difficult to envision his future.

The child may suppress his real feelings and live an emotionally-numb life in order to survive the tragedy of the separation from his mother compounded by his adoption.

As the child becomes an adolescent he will have great difficulty establishing a sense of self because he will have no sense of his true history or heritage.

As the child becomes an adult, he may have trouble choosing a career and a mate due to his fear of committment and abandonment.

The child’s adopters may not acknowledge that raising an adopted child is different from raising a child of their own.  The adopters want to pretend that the child they raised is not adopted but their own child so they force the child to live a lie by wiping out his past and changing his name and forcing the child to become like the adopters rather than being allowed to be his own person. They will further burden the child by telling him that he should forget about his natural parents and be greatful that they adopted him and gave him a home because the natural parents did not.

Nothing anyone says or does can ever make up for the loss of the child’s first family!

The mother will not be able to change the past and undo the lifelong adverse effects of adoption on her child!

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