embryo

Embryo adoption is a third-party reproduction that sprouted from in-vitro fertilization.  Several couples who are physically incapable but financially capable of having a child go for in-vitro fertilization(IVF).  In IVF, too much embryos are produced.  Some of these embryos are donated and are made available for embryo adoption.

Here are some of the reasons that pushes the infertile couples (who own the embryos) to go for embryo adoption:

1.  Much lighter feeling and cleaner conscience

The couple(who owned the embryos) can choose destroy the embryos or have it donated.  Choosing the second option makes them feel lighter because they were able to give another child to live.

Even if the child would be out of their custody, at least he was able to enjoy life and experienced being in a family.  Besides, destruction of embryos doesn’t sound good because embryos are precious living organisms, who have the equal right to live.  Even if emotional attachment might bother the couple, embryo adoption is considered a better decision.

2.   Chance to help other infertile couples

There are some couples who still failed to have a child even after trying IVF or undergoing traditional adoption process.  The infertile couples owning the embryos know how frustrating it is.
And now that they are given the opportunity to help, there’s nothing bad in sharing their delight in having a baby.  Several infertile couples become desperate in hoping to a child.  They undergo different forms of hassles and readily spend out money to make their dream of a complete family come true.  So why be selfish and insensitive to needs of that infertile and to rights of the underdeveloped living thing called embryo?

3.   Chance to know the background of the adoptive couple

Embryo adoption happens with the consent of the donor or the couples owning the embryos.  The owner or the biological donors can ask for some information about the possible adoptive parents.
They can also set conditions that would be followed giving the embryo to adoptive parents.

Infertile couples who are determined to have a child would go for embryo adoption due to the following reasons:

1.  For some couples, it could be the last option

Many infertile couples have tried IVF and inquired in traditional adoption, but then, they still failed.  And here comes another chance of having child by embryo adoption.  Every couple who are dying to have a complete family would normally take the chance by embryo adoption.

2.  Lesser expenses

In-vitro fertilization and traditional adoption requires more expenses than embryo adoption.

3.  Assurance that the child is properly taken care of during the pregnancy period

In embryo adoption, the embryo is injected into the uterus of the adoptive mother.  So, the adoptive couple is certain that during the baby’s development for nine months, no drug or harmful chemicals is taken and that the baby would come out healthy.  Unlike in traditional adoption where the biological mother bears the baby for nine months and give him to the adoptive parents.  During that length of time, the biological mother can have the chance to take in drugs or other substance harmful to the baby.

4.  The adoptive mother is given the experience to bear a child in her womb for nine months

Although bearing a baby for nine months and giving birth is painful, women, mostly mothers, would still choose to undergo in such process and be able to experience the seemingly unbearable pain of having a baby.  It gives them the feeling of fulfillment.

Embryo Adoption is undeniably helpful to infertile parents.  However, it is faced with some ethical issues.   Some are in favor of embryo adoption while some aren’t.

in-vitro fertilization

In-Vitro Fertilization is a process helpful for infertile couples in their dream of having a child.  However, producing too much embryos posed as one of its drawbacks.  But this drawback of IVF is one of the factors that gave birth to embryo adoption.

The excess embryo produced were either stored for later possible use or destroy.  Well, the decision to store or destroy depends upon the couples.  If they’d choose to keep the embryos, then they can surely do but those embryos can’t be kept forever.  The couple who owned the said embryos should come up with a decision sooner.  They can choose to implant the embryo and have another child in their family, destroy the embryos, or donate the said embryos to infertile couples who really want to have a child.

Not capable of having their own children is an to infertile couples.  Many options are provided for them and one of these options is in-vitro fertilization.  IVF is a process wherein more gametes are extracted from the male or female individual.  And because of too many embryos acquired, some are just kept.  The couples who owned the embryos normally does not need all those embryos to become children because its hard to support a large number of siblings.  Some go for temporary storage while some chose to give them to infertile couples who are dying to have a child in their family.

Thus, it could be said that as long as IVF exists embryo adoption would also be around.  Couples who owned the said embryos can’t just go for the destruction of the said embryos.  These couples are emotionally attached to these living things.   And these living things called embryos are valued like humans.  Destroying them would be very painful to the couple owning the embryos.  It’s like removing the innocent child’s right and chance to live.  However, giving them to other infertile couple is still a painful yet seemingly better option. The emotional attachment would still bother the individuals who donated the said gametes.  But that would make them feel lighter because they know the background of the adoptive parents and they are left hopeful that a bright future can possibly be provided to the  child.

Embryo adoption, though it still remains as a controversial issue, serves as one of the ways that gives hope to infertile couples in achieving their dream-that of having a child that would complete their family.

adopted girls

I often hear some mothers yelling out and wishing to be pregnant with a baby girl.  Well, these mothers have their own reasons.  In pregnancy, a mother could just hope for a baby to come true.  But in adopting a child, a mother can certainly choose to have a girl.

Having a child in feminine gender brings delight to a couple, specifically to a mother.  Here are few reasons why girls are most often chosen to be adopted:

1. Adoptive mothers can have someone whom she can share her femininity with.

Mothers would love to bond with their child by combing her long glossy hair,  dressing them with different fashionable clothes, shopping, going to the parlor, and beautifying themselves together.  They find doing and talking all about the girl things fun.  It is fulfilling in their part.

2.          Girls are better housekeeper than boys.

The adoptive parents may want a child whom they can trust the house to.  Usually, girls are left in the house and expected to the household chores.  The task of keeping the house clean and in order are in-charged to girls.  Also, a girl can be expected to look after the house when everybody is away.  They can also be asked to take care of their younger siblings.

3.           Girls, by nature, are more modest and well-behaved than boys.

Girls don’t sweat much than boys because their not as active as them.  Boys in their young childhood years, usually in their grade school years, love to play a lot making their bodies sweat and put on more dirt on their clothes.  This makes washing their clothes challenging.  Girls, on the other hand, are mostly modest.  They can stay in one place without feeling the need to run around and sweat much.  Girls are easier to discipline than boys.  There is this belief that girls can be easily raised compared to boys.

4.             Some adoptive parents believe that only biological children have the right to pass on their family names.

When an adoptive girl marries, she’ll use another family name and wouldn’t have the chance to pass it on.  Some adoptive couples would still want to give their family names to their real grandchildren.

Indeed, adopting a child gives couples the chance to choose what gender their adoptive child should have.  Some surveys shows that girls are more preferable than boys.  Well, every adoptive parent has their own set of beliefs and preferences.

open Adoption

During the early part of the 19th century, closed adoption was practiced due to social pressures.  Biological mother and adoptive parents were considered outcasts.  So any adoption taking place was kept secret.  However, today’s society is no longer that judgemental compared to those people before.

Unlike close adoption where everything about adoption is kept secret, open adoption is handing your child, your legal rights, and guardianship are transferred to the adoptive parents.

Open adoption may be disadvantageous to the adoptive parents’ side for it may mean:

1. Distraction

Yes, distraction because the biological mother or parents and the child might get to see each other and the child would have less bonding time for his adoptive parents.

2. Insecurity

The adoptive parents would feel less of being a parent to the child.  Knowing who his biological parents are, the child might look up more to his birth parents.

3. Fear of losing the child

The child might still want to be with his birth parents even if he is being relinquished by them.  He may miss them and long to have a family who has the same blood as he has.

But the bright of having the adoption open is:

1. Freedom from guilt

The adoptive parents can look at the adopted child straight in his eyes and tell him that every single thing about their family is open and no secrets were kept.

2. Trust from the child

Knowing that his adoptive parents are honest to him, especially about his adoption makes the child trust them.

3. More knowledge about the adopted child

In open adoption, more hereditary background about the child can be made known.  If the child’s birth family has this physical or mental problem, then the adoptive family knows how to handle or prevent the said problem.   Also, when asked by the child about his origin, the adoptive parents have ready answers.

4. Reduced fear about the birth mother’s intention

The adoptive family is aware of her intentions for the child because open communication between them makes the birth mother’s intentions known.

5. Establishment of good relationship to the birth parents

It is important for the adoptive parents to have a good relationship with the child’s birth parents.  This will make them comfortable  if ever their paths would come across each other.

Being open about the adoption that took place will give the adoptive parents from fear of being hated or mistrusted by the child.  On the other hand, it will make the child know his real self.

adoptive family

Closed Adoption is when a child’s custody is transferred to another couple or individual.  The said individuals would then serve as his new parent.  But the identity of his natural or biological parents are kept secret.  This would normally take place for infant/baby adoption.  Adopting adults or kids in their early childhood years would not apply to closed adoption.

The adoptive parents have their own reasons for choosing closed adoption.  Some of the reasons are:

1. Desire for an undivided attention from the child

Some adoptive parents feel insecure if the child knows his birth parents.  It could be that the child will equally divide his attention and love to his adoptive parent and biological parent.  They don’t want the child of think of other parent aside from them.  They demand the whole love and attention of the child.

2. Fear that the child may go back to his birth parents

The adopted child has been away from his birth parents and every child wants to know his real parent.    These facts would impose fear on the side of the adoptive couple.  What if he would choose to be with them?  His curiosity might push to meet his biological family which would eventually make him want to stay with them.  Any adoptive parent would be sad to have this happen.

3. Desire to make everything appear as natural and real

Some adoptive parents would like to make their parent-child relationship appear real and natural.  They don’t want their child to think that he came from a different family.   They don’t want him to bother them and himself by wondering and asking who were his real family.  They want the child to look up to them as if they were his birth father and mother.  That would make them feel more of being a mother and a father to him.

But in exchange for the fulfillment of the desires mentioned above, some drawbacks are take place.  These are:

*  Discomfort

Even though everything seems to be alright among them, there is still this fear that the adoptive child might know the truth.  Other people may come along the tell the adoption story to the adoptee.  Medical stuffs might accidentally reveal the biological difference between them, that might give hint to the child about his being adopted.

* The heavy feeling due to secrecy

Conscience bothers an adoptive parent.  This can’t be avoided especially if the child is expecting that every single thing is opened up to him.  That will hinder the adoptive parent their freedom – freedom from discomfort.  As long as something is kept secret between them, the parent-child relationship they have won’t totally prosper.  They would fear that someday they will destroy the trust and closeness they established with their adopted child.

Keeping the adoption a secret has disadvantages to the side of the adopted child like:

* Being cheated

Every individual has the right to know the truth, especially if it concerns him.  If adoption is sealed close, he will not have the opportunity to know his birth parents and his origin.  It is hardly fair for him making everything appear real and no secrets behind.

* Complications to the side of the child when closed adoption is revealed

Keeping secrets is hard.  What if the said closed adoption was accidentally made known to the child?  The child may even feel more unwanted by his birth parents.  Not communicating with him after the adoption might make him think that he is totally unloved by his biological parents.  This may affect his self-esteem and behavior.

In general, it’s never easy to choose between an open or close adoption.  People go for close adoption in order to protect some things or person.  However, when opting for close adoption, the birth and adoptive parents should be ready to face the consequences.

A child with special needs

Adoption is a good act, wherein you take responsibility of a child who is not actually your obligation.  It is a challenging task one could possibly hurdle.  But, additional responsibility, patience, dedication, and challenge would be required if you decide to adopt a child with special needs.

Because of the difficulty of the parenting a special child, adoptive parents would seldom choose to have a child with mental or physical disability.  Although some states would support the adoptive family by giving subsidy, it is still a huge task for them.

The Great Act of Helping the Child

There was once an author who said that adoption should never be done just to have a company throughout one’s life.  And I agree with her. Unrealistic as it may seem, but adoption should be done out of genuine love for the child.  And in considering child for adoption, one should not fail to see the children with exceptional or those with special needs.  Children with disabilities need more attention, acceptance, patience, and love.  Although the adoption centers can answer his needs, it is still different if someone would take him home and answer his basic, physical, and emotional needs.

Lessons/Values Realized by the Adoptive Parent and The Society As Well

Anyone who stands out from the crowd, courageous enough to accept the difficulties in raising a special child has brought up values and growth
for himself/herself.

The adoptive parent gets to learn some values from adopting the child. Some of the said values are patience, flexibility, dedication, bravery, and
unconditional love.

Such adoptive person is growing in a sense that he/she gets to take care of the special needs even if he/she can actually relinquish the responsibility and enjoy his personal life.   The people around who have known such deed would be inspired to do actions which require large amount of courage and commitment.

Caring For the Adopted Special Child

The adopted kid should be accepted warmly just like a child of your own.      The child should also be given the best possible care for he has special needs to be attended.  He should be provided with the necessary treatment, therapies, and developmental activities so that growth and development is still possible for him.

Many couples or individuals want to adopt a child because of shallow reasons which their to be paid back by the child once they grew up.   However, it is good and inspiring to know that  several adoptive parents accept the child and the responsibilities out of genuine love.  These are the individuals or couples who dared to adopt special children even if they knew that adopting them means lifetime service and obligations.

being adopted by a celebrity

Many children around the globe are in dire need to  be helped out.   Several individuals come along and volunteer to answer their needs.   One of the said individuals happen to be celebrities as in individuals who live in the spotlight.

Having an adoptive parent is one thing but having a celebrity adoptive parent is another thing.  Just how it feels to be  a child of a celebrity adoptive parent?

A child, who is being taken into one’s personal care, usually feels lucky for being chosen.  They were once abandoned or left out, but when the said adoptive parents came they once again  feel a sense of belongingness.   Of course, shyness is one of the primary feelings experienced by all adoptees.  The adoptive parents are people who are not connected to you in any way.  The thought of living with them and adopting to their lifestyle usually scares the child.  However, he will soon learn to live with it.  The said scary feeling will soon vanish.  No matter how many feelings intimidate the child, somehow he’d find excitement in him.  Whether the child is aware about being excited or not, excitement will surely suffice.  Now, what if the said adoptive parent is a star?  Someone being monitored by the people around particularly the fans.

Having an adoptive parent who is a celebrity is good because that means the adoptive parent has a sure way of making a living.  But we can’t lose sight of the fact that they’re lives are not totally private.  And being their part of their lives would also mean that you have to sacrifice a part or all your privacy.  Paparazzi would be going around if they see the celebrity’s family, which is also your family.  Then, what follows are click here and there, the meet and greet stuffs, etc.

In this case, only two things might happen: either the adoptive may able to adapt with the situation and will just eventually enjoy that way of life or he’ll find it difficult to live up to the life that his adoptive parent has.   Being featured just like his adoptive parent might make him insecure or intimidated.

There are a number of celebrities adopting kids around the globe.  There’s the famous celebrity couple, Angelina Jollie and Brad Pitt, Madonna, and many others.

The adoptive parent can very much help in comforting the adoptee in this case.  Prior to adoption, the parent and/or a counselor can discuss about the kind of life lived by the adoptive parent, the fun, and the stressful part of that kind of lifestyle.

birth parent vs. adoptive parent

Birth parents are the individuals who made the child.  The birth mother bore the child for nine months and risked her life when she gave birth to the baby.

Somewhere along the way, the birth parents considered adoption for some reasons like financial shortcomings.   So, the adoptive parents come in in the picture.  They are the individuals who volunteered to play the difficult role that should have been played by the birth parents.  They took care of the child, sent him to school, dressed him, provided him with nutritious foods, supported him financially, stood by him, and provided him the home he truly needs.

It seldom happens when a birth parent asks for the child back once the kid has already been adopted.  But, what if it happens?  How will the adopted child feel or react?  How about the adoptive parents?  Who should be chosen by the child?

This is again another tough circumstance to be faced by the child.  If the said adoption was legally done, as in with the presence of a lawyer, then the birth parent would just be up to barking against the adoptive individual.  A case like this is not encountered by adoptive parents who undergo legal proceedings, as in with the presence of a lawyer and all the papers needed to wit.   Suppose the said adoption was done verbally.  Adoption took place by mere talk and agreement via conversation.   Is it fair to the side of the adoptive parents to just take the child away from them?  They must have learned to love the child deeply.  They have set their minds and hearts of having the child as part of the family.   They are more or less used to having the child around.  Losing the adopted child might be like losing their own child.   The adoptive parents were there all along for the child, acting like a real parent and it wouldn’t be good to hurt them after all they’ve been through.

But, we can’t just ignore the birth parents.  They’ve been away from the child and that was indeed a sad thing to ever happen to them.  The real parents wants gain back the child.  All they want is to be given a chance to show him how much he means to them.

The primary in this scenario is the child, the adopted child.  How could they make him understand everything with less worry, confusion, and fear?   Does he really need to come up with a decision?  Will he ever think of a sound and fair decision?  When could he possibly make a choice between his adoptive parents and birth parents?  Does he really need to choose?

Most likely, adopted children chooses their adoptive parent because it was injected in their minds that the adoptive family is his home.  And a home is where an individual feels most comfortable.

a parent with the adopted children

An individual has three vocations namely, a married life, staying single, and entering the seminary.  Of the three, staying single can be considered as the most favorable vocation for adopting a child.

Most single individual, especially women, considers child adoption.   Children in their toddler or younger years are sought for adoption.
Here are some of the reasons on why single ladies prefer adoption:

1. While most women look forward to walking down the aisle, get married, and have family on their own, some prefer to stay single without a lifetime partner.  However, they want a child to have someone whom they can take care with and to whom they can express their motherly love.

2. Single individual want to have a companion in their life.  Someone has to be with them in the house.

3. Still, there are some women who feel the need of the needy children so they volunteer to have them as their own child.

Being a single adoptive parent has its advantages:

1. Even if you didn’t build a family of your own, you can still have someone to be with.

2. A single parent doesn’t have to consult a partner for her adoption decisions. She can decide about the adopted child’s gender, age, nationality, etc.  The decision is all up to that single individual.

3. A single parent can set her own rules for the child without the interference or objection from a partner.

4. She can have all the time and attention of the child.

Along with the advantages comes the drawbacks.  Here are some of the disadvantages in being a single parent:

1. She should shoulder all the expenses in bringing up the child.

2. She’ll solely deal with letting the child understand his present situation such as his being an adopted child, having only one parent without a father, etc.

3. She has to discipline the child all by herself.  Having a child makes a single parent an automatic disciplinarian.

4. She might encounter disapproval from her family or other relatives.

5. No one’s there to substitute her, in case she needs to get a break.

6. If ever she’ll decide to marry, she has to make sure that the child can be accepted by her partner.

All in all, it is a rewarding feeling to be a parent, regardless if the child is your own or not.  What matters most is that you treat the child like an angel from your own womb.  Being a single adoptive parent entails gargantuan obligations.  But, if a person is sincere in adopting the child, then she won’t feel sorry for herself even when faced with hardships in raising the child.

How would it be like being adopted by a relative?  Is there a whole lot of difference in adoption by relative and adoption by other people?  Can the adoptee feel the same loneliness in the adoption process?

Well, I guess the answers to these questions are subjective.  It depends upon the adoptee and the process of being separated from his birth family.   There are cases wherein relatives tend to agree among themselves in having this child stay with them.  So, child adoption takes place.  Adopting the child may be done by a casual talk.  There are also wherein a parent or a relative wants to legalize everything.  So, they may refer to an attorney and relevant papers are processed.   A written agreement will also work.

Why adopt from a relative?

Having a relative for good is beneficial in your part because you are able to help your relative who is in need.  The fact that they are putting the child under adoption makes it clear that they are having difficulty in taking care of the child.  One reason may be difficulty in raising him or in supporting his needs.  Another could be lack of time to have him.  Probably, nobody’s there to look after him.  This is the case for children whose parents are gone by accident resulting to death.

Adopting a child of the same blood is not too difficult.  The adoptive person doesn’t have to start their relationship from zero.  It may not be that hard for the child also, especially if they are close already.  It would indeed be favorable for the child because he’ll get to see his birth family often.  During family reunions, the whole clan would be there and the child doesn’t have to be reintroduced to another set of family.  He will still belong to the same clan and doesn’t have to adjust to whole lot new faces of relatives.

The adoptive family or parents knows the hereditarybackground of the adoptee.  They know what needs has to be attended, how to handle him, how he reacts, and other basic facts about the child.  The same is true with the child towards his stepparents. The adopted child is aware of the reactions, attitudes, and behavior of his foster family, which is actually his relatives.

The feeling of staying with a relative for good varies from one person to another.  Some adoptees may feel comfortable with their aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents.  They are so compatible that the adoptee prefers to be with them than their birth family.  Some of them may be so close with their biological family that choosing to be in their relative’s family is also hard.