The Philippines is one of the many countries with child abandonment cases. These angels are intentionally or unintentionally left by their guardians.  Well, the good news is that, the government in general and the government agencies in particular are taking care of them.  However, there are so many of them that they can’t be handle by the personnel and even volunteer individuals.  Also, they can’t commit to a long-term custody for the children.   The children needs to be in a place they can truly call home.  So, they negotiate with some couples or individual who are willing to have a child of their own.  Now, to avoid possible problems and to ensure the child’s welfare, some steps have to be followed in order to make the adoption process possible and legal.

Although there are various criteria set by some countries regarding the adoption of a child, the Philippine government takes the following into consideration in order to consider a child a candidate for adoption:

1. The child must be a minor. If he/she is already 18, adoption is only granted if the adopters are his/her natural parents.

2. A foreign child cannot be adopted by a Filipino, unless his country has diplomatic ties with the Phippine government.

3. A child who was once adopted is no longer available for adoption, unless his first adoption was repealed or rescinded.

Possible adopters should be:

1.    A Filipino citizen of legal age, emotionally and psychologically capable of caring for the child, has good moral character, has not been convicted of any crime involving moral turpitude, and has the capacity to support the child’s basic needs. An age gap is also observed between the adoptee and the adopter. The adopter must be 16 years older than the adoptee. An exemption to the rule is considered when the adopter is the natural parent or a spouse of the adoptee’s parent.

2.   Any alien who has the qualifications mentioned above provided that:

a) His country has diplomatic ties with the Philippine government.

b) He’s been living in the Philippines for three consecutive years prior to the filing of the petition for adoption.

c) He has been certified by his diplomatic or consular office or any appropriate government agency to have the legal capacity to adopt in his country.

d) The adopter’s government allows the adoptee to enter his country as his adopted child.

This said criteria may be waived for some reasons.

The Philippine government is also passing laws regarding adoption. Some of the said laws are:

RA 9523

AN ACT REQUIRING CERTIFICATION OF THE DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL WELFARE AND DEVELOPMENT (DSWD) TO DECLARE A “CHILD LEGALLY AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION” AS A PREREQUISITE FOR ADOPTION PROCEEDINGS, AMENDING FOR THIS PURPOSE CERTAIN PROVISIONS OF REPUBLIC ACT NO. 8552, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE DOMESTIC ADOPTION ACT OF 1998, REPUBLIC ACT NO. 8043, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE INTER-COUNTRY ADOPTION ACT OF 1995, PRESIDENTIAL DECREE NO. 603, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE CHILD AND YOUTH WELFARE CODE, AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES

RA 8043

AN ACT ESTABLISHING THE RULES TO GOVERN INTER-COUNTRY ADOPTION OF FILIPINO CHILDREN, AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES

PD 603

THE CHILD AND WELFARE CODE

The government fully understands the child’s need of belonging to a certain family. But they see to it that these kids will be in good hands.   So, they pass on criteria for possible adopters.   They are also after the harmonious relationship between adopter and the adoptee and tries to make every adoption process run smooth.

The thought of becoming a mother for the first or second or nth time leaves the a woman feeling scared, excited, or confused.  Well, who wouldn’t be?  That means changing few routines, adding more responsibilities, and resetting priorities.  Pregnancy and motherhood is something that every woman should be prepared of.  But suppose, the mother-to-be is not expecting it or doesn’t want it?  Some might consider abortion.  However, there’s another good option or solution.  That includes having the child adopted.  Now, there are also mothers who wanted to parent their child but were not given the capability or chance to do so.

Here are some of the cases that pushes a mother to consider adoption:

CASE 1: Teenage Pregnancy

The mother is yet in her teenage years and is definitely not prepared to parent a child.  This scenario is very common nowadays.   Lots of teenage girls get involved romantically and when they got pregnant, they easily get confused and afraid.  Usually, they’d think of having the baby aborted.  But then, she’d might be enlightened by the Holy Spirit and would just think of some other better option.  It might come up to her mind that she can bore the baby for nine months and look for a foster family.  She is still dependent on her family and obviously cannot raise a child on her own.  That would mean additional expenses that can’t be supported by her family or the birth father.  So she thinks that the least that she could do for her baby is to consider adoption.  Some couples would be very willing to have the baby for them.  They could raise him well and give him a better future.

CASE 2: Mothers Who Are Not Ready To Be Mother Again

There are women who discovered about their pregnancy but are not prepared for it.  The birth father is irresponsible while the mother, herself, finds it difficult to raise the child.  She has other children who needs her attention and support.  Having another individual might even ruin the hard-to-come-up budget.  The mother may be forced to let go of her child even if she has to go through a lot of heartaches.

CASE 3: Incapability To Raise The Child

The family has many members and father’s income is not enough to support another child.  The couple may then think having another family, couple, or a relative take care of the child.  Some couples or mothers believe that they could bear the pain of giving the child to someone else than seeing the child suffer and deprived of his needs.  There’s also a case wherein the mother is physically hindered to take good care of the baby.  She may be a handicapped so someone volunteer to adopt the child.

CASE 4: Absence Of Parents Or Concern Relatives

The birth parents may be away or no longer alive and no relative is around to adopt him.  Also, it could be that none of the child’s relative can promise to have him so they send him to an orphanage.

A child may be separated from his mother due to the mother’s negligence or the mother’s love.  A baby bore for nine months is not something easy to give and forget.  It’s a blessing every mother should treasure more than anything.  Who knows what irresponsible mothers would feel after abandoning their baby?  But any loving mother who decided to give out the baby for the his welfare is not subject to harsh judgments because it’s harder, if not hard, on her part to stay away from her child.

Suppose a baby is being adopted.  Probably he’d not be so much bothered with his origin as he grows old.  He’s still innocent when his mother negotiated with the stepparent and have him adopted.  Perhaps, the child wouldn’t even suspect.

How about being adopted on one’s toddler years, in his first two years on earth?  If the foster family is indeed responsible and good in treating him, then most probably, less or no problems are to be encountered.  And if problems really come, it is most likely manageable.

No matter at what age one was given to other person’s care, an individual would definitely search for his birth family.  It’s not that he doesn’t like the adoptive family even if they treated him well.  It’s just that he feels a need of knowing the people who are biological related to him.  His responsible foster family might have given him a name,  answer to his basic needs, and companionship.  However, it is but normal to feel the need of knowing his birth family.  He might experience fear, insecurity, or guilt.  But any loving foster family would be willing to be with him at this tough time in his life.  They proved to be supportive to him by doing the obligations that should have been done by his birth family.  There is a great possibility that they can assist him in his journey to discovering his “true” family.

The adopted individual would surely face a seemingly insurmountable fear.  He might be afraid of letting his foster family know his plan of wanting to meet his birth family.  He’s afraid in disappointing or hurting them, which is not always true.  It could be that the foster family has
prepared themselves about the matter or they’re open-minded enough to let him go and meet his long-lost kin.  Foster families take a significant role in this phase of the adoptee’s life.

The adoptee might have thought all this time that he’s been abandoned, unwanted, and rejected.  He may fear meeting his birth family and be rejected again.  But this fear shouldn’t and couldn’t stop the adoptee from searching them.  Time after time, he’d feel the same need of having answer to his questions.   He might also feel guilty of planning to pursue the search.  He might even find it awkward to ask his foster family.

In this quest, an adoptee needs a great amount of courage to face whatever has to be faced.  He needs the support, understanding, and unconditional love of his foster family to sustain him all throughout the entire search.

Being away from the ones true family or relatives is a sad experience one might undergo.  Though an ideal foster family helps a child and is really a great blessing, we can’t neglect the fact that knowing where you came from is one of a person’s need.   It may leave someone curious, feeling incomplete, confused, afraid, and feeling cheated or abandoned.  Let me then cite some of the hardships an adopted child might go through.  These are the following:

Attachment Disorder

This broad term pertains to the disorders of mood, behavior, and social relationships.  This problem is said to originate from the child’s early problem in forming normal attachments from the people immediately around him, such as the nannies.  So, as they grow old, they begin to have problematic social behaviors.

Child Abuse

An adopted child may be abused physically, sexually, or psychologically.

A physical abuse may include anything intentionally done to the child that caused or potentially cause him harm. A sexual abuse to a child happens when an adult does something like penetration, oral sex, and forced nudity.  On the other hand, psychological abuse done to a child involves belittling or shaming him, inappropriate and/or extreme punishment, and the withholding of affection towards him.

Incestuous Relationship

Leaving the adoptee unaware of his status as an adoptee might lead him marrying someone who happens to be his close relative.  This is such a disastrous way of finding out the truth.

Ignorance to Personal Historical Background

Our Social Studies teacher would often tell us that knowing the history of the our country and everything about it is a way of being a good citizen.  Just as it is necessary to know the previous events of ones country and as well as the persons who played a significant role, so it is in knowing ones parents, relatives, and important matters pertaining to the family.  It is a must for everybody, for the sake of ones completeness.  The child may be from a family with serious ailments or health problems, such as cancer, high blood, etc.  And knowing the child’s family background would truly help.

A good foster parent would care enough to assist his adoptee in facing, overcoming, or avoiding one of the said problems to happen.

Adopting a child is not a joke and it may be one of the toughest decisions one may come upon with.  Several factors must be taken into consideration before finalizing a decision to adopt a child:

1. Responsibilities you must perform

There is no escape to the obligations placed on  a foster parent’s shoulder.  Having a child, regardless of his age, makes a stepparent face lots of obligations.  If you plan to adopt a child, make sure you are willing and capable in providing his physical, financial, emotional,  and spiritual needs.

A child needs clothing, food and water, and a good shelter for his physical necessities.  And a shelter does not end up with a house.  It must also be a place that the child can call home.

A foster parent must  be financially stable.  The child needs formal education and has to be sent to school.  Everyday expenses such as allowance, transportation to school, school fees, and miscellaneous fees must be supported.

With regards to the child’s emotional needs, a foster parent must be sensitive in the child’s emotions, especially during the child’s first stay with them.   It might that the adopted feels awkward with the environment and the new faces around him.  A good foster parent sees to it that the child feels comfortable in his new home by welcoming him and getting him involve in almost everything that is going on in his new home.     This process, of course, takes time.

Another aspect would have to be the child’s spiritual growth.  What good will be for a child to be adopted in a place called “home”, when such “home” cannot guide him towards being a good-natured and God-fearing individual?    The stepparent must not forget this aspect.

2. Other members of the family

Usually, a couple may decide to adopt a child in their home because of their inability to have their own.  Thus, it would be easier for the child to adjust in this kind of place or home.   However, there are instances wherein  the said home may consist also with some family members like the couple’s child/children (if they already have a child of their own and still decide to adopt ), the stepparent’s brother(s) or sister(s), and his mother or father.   In this case, it is good if they’d be able to talk about this matter first and agree among themselves.  The other members of the family must also be willing to have a child living with them and be able to accept the child like one of their true relatives.

3. The child himself

Pretty sure, the child would be informed that someone is willing to have him in their home.  But the foster parent should cooperate with charity organization’s personnel in making the child understand about the change of environment he is about to go through.  Normally, the concept of adoption might cause the child to feel conscious, ashamed, or afraid.  So, the foster parent must show the child that there is nothing to be ashamed or be afraid of because the new home for him is safe and very much interested in having him.

4. The  person who plans to adopt

If he’s already certain in his decision, in his capability to support the child, and so also with the feelings and acceptance of the other members of the family, then he must ask himself as to how committed and determined he is to share his own self, time, and love to the child for the rest of his life.

These are just some of the aspects that has to be tackled before really getting into the job of parenting an adopted child. Adoption can be a difficult and tough transition experienced by the stepparent or the child if there is lack of planning before getting into the process.

A Blessing for Baby
Little One, the Lord loves you so…
He’ll be with you as you grow.
May He bless you in every way…
as you follow Him each day.
And may He keep you in His sight,
through the night.

SCRIPTURE:
The Lord bless you and keep you.
NUMBERS 6:24 ICB
Scripture taken from the International Children’s Bible 1986. Used by permission.

Product Details:
- Book Size 9 ½” x 14” x 5 ¼”
- Eyes and nose are embroidered
- 6 page soft book sewn to arm

Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in “parent(s)” cares for minor children or young people who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority.

In most cases, children placed in foster care have been subjected to some form of abuse or neglect, and being removed from familiar surroundings is, in itself, usually highly traumatic. Children in foster care may have nightmares, problems sleeping or eating, and may be depressed, angry, and confused. Many young children in foster care are unable to understand why they have been taken from their parents. Even if a child is in some sense relieved to be out of a home that was dangerous, the child may still miss the parents or legal guardians, and may imagine that there is something he or she must do to get back to them. There is evidence that children from abusive and neglectful homes start to feel better in foster care; however, separation is almost always difficult for children, regardless of the circumstances.

The primary goal of foster care is family reunification. If this is not possible, then an alternative permanent plan is followed.

Reunification with a biological parent is when the child was temporarily removed from the home then reunited back with the biological parent when the state decides the conditions are suitable. This generally includes some older foster children who may be strongly bonded to their family of origin and unwilling to pursue adoption. It also may include cases where children are placed with grandparents or other relatives, where the placement is likely to be permanent but those relatives don’t want to fight the birth parents in court.

Foster parents have the responsibility of helping children and their parents achieve this goal. Foster parenting then, is not a lifetime commitment to a child/adolescent, but a commitment to be meaningful to a child’s lifetime. Foster care often means “families helping families.”

There are two kinds of foster care, the voluntary foster care and the involuntary foster care. Voluntary foster care may be utilized in circumstances where a parent is unable or unwilling to care for a child. For instance, a child may have behavioral problems requiring specialized treatment or the parent might have a problem which results in a temporary or permanent inability to care for the child(ren). Involuntary foster care may be implemented when a child is removed from their caregiver because it is believed such removal is necessary for his/her own safety. A foster parent receives monetary reimbursement from the placement agency for each child while the child is in his/her home to help cover the cost of meeting the child’s needs. The amount of financial assistance typically varies from state to state and even city to city.

The basic requirements for becoming a foster parent generally include that you:
• are 21 years of age, or older;
• are in good physical and emotional health;
• meet state and local requirements for housing safety, space and equipment;
• have the skills, attitude and stamina to effectively deal with the many behaviors and feelings displayed by children and youth;
• have a non-punitive attitude and can demonstrate some level of acceptance toward the birth parents of the children in care;
• can work cooperatively with the representatives of the Department of Human Services and other team members;
• are accepting of the temporary nature of foster care and can help a child transition back to his family or move on to a permanent or adoptive placement.
Children and youth may need foster care placements for a variety of reasons:
• they have been emotionally, physically or sexually abused;
• the physical or mental incapacity of their parents;
• they are abandoned;
• the drug, alcohol or other chemical abuse by their parent;
• the child’s behavioral or emotional problems; or,
• the separation, divorce or death of their parent(s).

Children and youth needing foster care placement come from a variety of social and economic backgrounds; from every race, religion and nationality – and every age from birth to young adulthood.
Half of all foster children spend as much as two years in foster care and are moved from placement to placement at least three times. This leads not only to uncertainty and lack of stability in the child’s life, but some of these placements may be inappropriate for the child’s specific circumstances. This often is due to the lack of qualified, licensed foster caregivers, but it can also occur as a result of inexperienced or overloaded caseworkers trying to get through their caseloads.
Foster care can be difficult for foster parents as well. A child who has been neglected or abused suffers psychological damage that may make him or her withdrawn, immature, aggressive, or otherwise difficult to reach. Children with severe medical and mental problems can tax caregivers. Foster placements sometimes fail because these surrogate parents simply cannot handle the demands of a troubled foster child.

THE ROLE OF THE FOSTER PARENT
How is foster parenting similar to parenting your own children?
• Provide daily care and supervision of a child
• Provide for child’s basic physical needs
• Work with schools, medical personnel, and other professionals
• Guide child’s development in all areas: physical, emotional, social, spiritual, etc.
• Provide structure, rules, and discipline
• Teach values and self-direction
• Model appropriate family relationships

How is foster parenting different from natural parenting?
• Must accept child at a variety of developmental levels which may not match his/her chronological age
• Must accept having only limited time working with the child
• Must accept agency/department involvement and responsibilities
• Must comply with certification standards
• Must keep records
• Must work with birth parents or family (if appropriate)
• Will be able to make only limited decisions
• Must respect confidentiality
• Must respect and nurture the child’s cultural, social and religious background
• Must report changes in family household to the agency
• Must be able to offer flexibility and follow though in caring out the objectives of the case plan (transportation, visitation, therapy, etc.)

How is foster parenting similar to a job?
• Have distinct duties and responsibilities
• Negotiates with “employer” (Department of Human Services)
• Held accountable
• Works with other professionals
• Keeps records
• Maintains confidentiality

How is foster parenting different from a job?
• Involves the entire family
• Requires warm environment, involving love and commitment
• “On duty” 24 hours a day/7 days a week/365 days a year
• Requires high level of job interpretation and autonomy

Unfortunately, the number of foster caregivers has been declining since the mid-1980s as the demand for placements has increased. States have responded by licensing responsible adults who were not married (even divorced men and women) and reaching out to seniors and children’s relatives. In some areas, single mothers make up a large proportion of foster parents.