Being away from the ones true family or relatives is a sad experience one might undergo.  Though an ideal foster family helps a child and is really a great blessing, we can’t neglect the fact that knowing where you came from is one of a person’s need.   It may leave someone curious, feeling incomplete, confused, afraid, and feeling cheated or abandoned.  Let me then cite some of the hardships an adopted child might go through.  These are the following:

Attachment Disorder

This broad term pertains to the disorders of mood, behavior, and social relationships.  This problem is said to originate from the child’s early problem in forming normal attachments from the people immediately around him, such as the nannies.  So, as they grow old, they begin to have problematic social behaviors.

Child Abuse

An adopted child may be abused physically, sexually, or psychologically.

A physical abuse may include anything intentionally done to the child that caused or potentially cause him harm. A sexual abuse to a child happens when an adult does something like penetration, oral sex, and forced nudity.  On the other hand, psychological abuse done to a child involves belittling or shaming him, inappropriate and/or extreme punishment, and the withholding of affection towards him.

Incestuous Relationship

Leaving the adoptee unaware of his status as an adoptee might lead him marrying someone who happens to be his close relative.  This is such a disastrous way of finding out the truth.

Ignorance to Personal Historical Background

Our Social Studies teacher would often tell us that knowing the history of the our country and everything about it is a way of being a good citizen.  Just as it is necessary to know the previous events of ones country and as well as the persons who played a significant role, so it is in knowing ones parents, relatives, and important matters pertaining to the family.  It is a must for everybody, for the sake of ones completeness.  The child may be from a family with serious ailments or health problems, such as cancer, high blood, etc.  And knowing the child’s family background would truly help.

A good foster parent would care enough to assist his adoptee in facing, overcoming, or avoiding one of the said problems to happen.

Adopting a child is not a joke and it may be one of the toughest decisions one may come upon with.  Several factors must be taken into consideration before finalizing a decision to adopt a child:

1. Responsibilities you must perform

There is no escape to the obligations placed on  a foster parent’s shoulder.  Having a child, regardless of his age, makes a stepparent face lots of obligations.  If you plan to adopt a child, make sure you are willing and capable in providing his physical, financial, emotional,  and spiritual needs.

A child needs clothing, food and water, and a good shelter for his physical necessities.  And a shelter does not end up with a house.  It must also be a place that the child can call home.

A foster parent must  be financially stable.  The child needs formal education and has to be sent to school.  Everyday expenses such as allowance, transportation to school, school fees, and miscellaneous fees must be supported.

With regards to the child’s emotional needs, a foster parent must be sensitive in the child’s emotions, especially during the child’s first stay with them.   It might that the adopted feels awkward with the environment and the new faces around him.  A good foster parent sees to it that the child feels comfortable in his new home by welcoming him and getting him involve in almost everything that is going on in his new home.     This process, of course, takes time.

Another aspect would have to be the child’s spiritual growth.  What good will be for a child to be adopted in a place called “home”, when such “home” cannot guide him towards being a good-natured and God-fearing individual?    The stepparent must not forget this aspect.

2. Other members of the family

Usually, a couple may decide to adopt a child in their home because of their inability to have their own.  Thus, it would be easier for the child to adjust in this kind of place or home.   However, there are instances wherein  the said home may consist also with some family members like the couple’s child/children (if they already have a child of their own and still decide to adopt ), the stepparent’s brother(s) or sister(s), and his mother or father.   In this case, it is good if they’d be able to talk about this matter first and agree among themselves.  The other members of the family must also be willing to have a child living with them and be able to accept the child like one of their true relatives.

3. The child himself

Pretty sure, the child would be informed that someone is willing to have him in their home.  But the foster parent should cooperate with charity organization’s personnel in making the child understand about the change of environment he is about to go through.  Normally, the concept of adoption might cause the child to feel conscious, ashamed, or afraid.  So, the foster parent must show the child that there is nothing to be ashamed or be afraid of because the new home for him is safe and very much interested in having him.

4. The  person who plans to adopt

If he’s already certain in his decision, in his capability to support the child, and so also with the feelings and acceptance of the other members of the family, then he must ask himself as to how committed and determined he is to share his own self, time, and love to the child for the rest of his life.

These are just some of the aspects that has to be tackled before really getting into the job of parenting an adopted child. Adoption can be a difficult and tough transition experienced by the stepparent or the child if there is lack of planning before getting into the process.

A Blessing for Baby
Little One, the Lord loves you so…
He’ll be with you as you grow.
May He bless you in every way…
as you follow Him each day.
And may He keep you in His sight,
through the night.

SCRIPTURE:
The Lord bless you and keep you.
NUMBERS 6:24 ICB
Scripture taken from the International Children’s Bible 1986. Used by permission.

Product Details:
- Book Size 9 ½” x 14” x 5 ¼”
- Eyes and nose are embroidered
- 6 page soft book sewn to arm