The thought of becoming a mother for the first or second or nth time leaves the a woman feeling scared, excited, or confused.  Well, who wouldn’t be?  That means changing few routines, adding more responsibilities, and resetting priorities.  Pregnancy and motherhood is something that every woman should be prepared of.  But suppose, the mother-to-be is not expecting it or doesn’t want it?  Some might consider abortion.  However, there’s another good option or solution.  That includes having the child adopted.  Now, there are also mothers who wanted to parent their child but were not given the capability or chance to do so.

Here are some of the cases that pushes a mother to consider adoption:

CASE 1: Teenage Pregnancy

The mother is yet in her teenage years and is definitely not prepared to parent a child.  This scenario is very common nowadays.   Lots of teenage girls get involved romantically and when they got pregnant, they easily get confused and afraid.  Usually, they’d think of having the baby aborted.  But then, she’d might be enlightened by the Holy Spirit and would just think of some other better option.  It might come up to her mind that she can bore the baby for nine months and look for a foster family.  She is still dependent on her family and obviously cannot raise a child on her own.  That would mean additional expenses that can’t be supported by her family or the birth father.  So she thinks that the least that she could do for her baby is to consider adoption.  Some couples would be very willing to have the baby for them.  They could raise him well and give him a better future.

CASE 2: Mothers Who Are Not Ready To Be Mother Again

There are women who discovered about their pregnancy but are not prepared for it.  The birth father is irresponsible while the mother, herself, finds it difficult to raise the child.  She has other children who needs her attention and support.  Having another individual might even ruin the hard-to-come-up budget.  The mother may be forced to let go of her child even if she has to go through a lot of heartaches.

CASE 3: Incapability To Raise The Child

The family has many members and father’s income is not enough to support another child.  The couple may then think having another family, couple, or a relative take care of the child.  Some couples or mothers believe that they could bear the pain of giving the child to someone else than seeing the child suffer and deprived of his needs.  There’s also a case wherein the mother is physically hindered to take good care of the baby.  She may be a handicapped so someone volunteer to adopt the child.

CASE 4: Absence Of Parents Or Concern Relatives

The birth parents may be away or no longer alive and no relative is around to adopt him.  Also, it could be that none of the child’s relative can promise to have him so they send him to an orphanage.

A child may be separated from his mother due to the mother’s negligence or the mother’s love.  A baby bore for nine months is not something easy to give and forget.  It’s a blessing every mother should treasure more than anything.  Who knows what irresponsible mothers would feel after abandoning their baby?  But any loving mother who decided to give out the baby for the his welfare is not subject to harsh judgments because it’s harder, if not hard, on her part to stay away from her child.

A child being deserted by his parents can cause a severe trauma that will mirror through every aspect of child’s life. The baby will experience the mother’s loss as psychological death of his mother.  There will never be closure.

The baby feels he is abandoned and results to a lifelong inability to trust anyone. This experience will gradually affect him all through out his life. That is the reason why most of the adopted child fails to trust anyone because of the fear that he may be left alone again.

The baby perpetually  bothers as to why he wasn’t kept by his mom and will blame himself for not being good enough to be loved. Many adopted adult has this kind of burden that deters a good relationship to others. The child may also feel melancholic and remorseful as if he did something bad that decides his mom to leave  him.

As days pass by and as the child grows up, he may feel that he doesn’t belong to the family where he currently resides and will suffer self-esteem. He may decide not to get involve to any family activities and may prefer to be alone all by himself. He will feel like an outcast within the family who adopted him.

The child thinks of his mother and the reason behind why he was abandoned. This makes sense because the child longs for his mother and misses her terribly!  There is a wound there that can never be filled by anyone other than the mother!  This could cause the child to have trouble concentrating on his school work.  The child may be labeled a “dreamer” or a “bad student” which will harm his chances to succeed in life.  the adopters might not understand the reason for the child’s lack of concentration and this might cause him to be misdiagnosed as having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).  If misdiagnosed, the child will be forced to take medication he will not need.

The child will loose his true identity while the adopters will try to force him to be like them.  The reason for this is so that the adopters won’t be reminded that the child isn’t really theirs.  The adopters would want the true traits that the child inherits from his family to go away.  The child will not be allowed to be himself.

The child will have no sense of his past which will make it difficult to envision his future.

The child may suppress his real feelings and live an emotionally-numb life in order to survive the tragedy of the separation from his mother compounded by his adoption.

As the child becomes an adolescent he will have great difficulty establishing a sense of self because he will have no sense of his true history or heritage.

As the child becomes an adult, he may have trouble choosing a career and a mate due to his fear of committment and abandonment.

The child’s adopters may not acknowledge that raising an adopted child is different from raising a child of their own.  The adopters want to pretend that the child they raised is not adopted but their own child so they force the child to live a lie by wiping out his past and changing his name and forcing the child to become like the adopters rather than being allowed to be his own person. They will further burden the child by telling him that he should forget about his natural parents and be greatful that they adopted him and gave him a home because the natural parents did not.

Nothing anyone says or does can ever make up for the loss of the child’s first family!

The mother will not be able to change the past and undo the lifelong adverse effects of adoption on her child!