Many factors urge a parent, particularly a mother, to have her child adopted.  Some can be considered valid.  Some are simply excuses.

A mother may find it really impossible to raise her child.  The father and mother may be financial challenged and supporting a child is absolutely difficult.

Another instance is teenage pregnancy.  The girl may want to give the baby under other person’s custody because her family cannot respond to the responsibilities or they can’t accept a new member whom they consider illegitimate.

It could be that the mother herself cannot accept the baby for some reasons.

Instead of just having the baby aborted, an alternative is considered.  And that is, the baby is born but should have to be given away to some individuals who are willing to accept and capable to support him.

And now the child grows.  During his toddler years, the isssue of having been adopted is not a big deal.  Then, he grows to his adolescent years.  It’s either the truth is divulged to him voluntary or is found out by him personally.  Either way, he would find himself curious, afraid, disappointed, or confused.

One of the many questions he’d be confronted with is how should he feel towards his birth parents.  Is their reason valid enough to make him feel better and just understand their decision of putting him under adoption?

Suppose his mother gave him away in order to ensure a bright future for him, should he still believe that he’s being loved by his parent and the said love is the main driving force that drove his parent to look for a possible foster parent who can provide him all his necessities?   It’s a tough scenario indeed.  I mean, how could he totally hate them when in fact they are also grieving for the loss of their child.   The parent, most especially the mother, is feeling guilty for not being responsible and capable enough to support his basic needs.  Well, no one could exactly tell the right reaction towards this issue.  But the most important things and people should be there to assist the emotional needs of the adoptee in these times of confusion.   A counseling or discussion between the adoptee and the foster parent, counselor, or the biological parents.  Some things would seem to be understandable or self-explanatory.  However, some words have to be heard directly from one’s mouth.  The adoptee must be given the answers and the truth about origin.    He may be that alright to accept the answers to his questions but that doesn’t mean it will be forever.

On the other hand, should he  just allow the hatred in his heart because it’s hard to control it and no amount of explanation seems to be enough to vanish the disappointment he has?  The adopted child may feel insecure.  Some of the adopted children would normally feel abandoned.  It’s usual for the adoptee to fear his meeting with his birth parents because they might be rejected again.  The child would possibly be disgusted, thinking how irresponsible or negligent his parent
were leading to his separation from them.

Despite all the intermingled feelings one may have, one can’t deny that among these mixed feelings is excitement.  It’s hard to be wondering about your birth family for ones entire life.  Upon deciding to see ones birth family, the adoptee might have positive or negative feeling.  But that would not hinder him of being excited.  The intense feeling is present in the adoptee knowing that he’d be able to see the face of his biological family.

Should the adoptee hate the biological parent?  Well, the adoptee would eventually answer such question after some time.  The time when wounds have been healed and reasons are fully absorbed by his mind.

Every adopted child goes into the so-called transition phase.   This is one of the crucial stage in his life wherein he must learn to live away from the family he used to have.  His former family may be the orphanage, a foster family, or his birth family.  The child in his young age must be helped out in this stage.  Somebody has to be there willing and able to understand his present undertaking and someone who can answer the most important questions about him, his former family, and the reason behind his being an adopted child.

The present foster/adoptive family can use stuffs that would serve as the child’s constant companion and would remind him of his journey in life-
starting from birth until the present.  These stuffs where suggested by experts to the child in his transition phase:

Lifebook - contains the story of his life which is represented by words, pictures, or documents.  This would include not just the events but also the relevant people and places in his life.

Lifemaps or lifepaths – is a visual representation of his journey in life. The age is highlighted and important events and the people who were with him at the age is mentioned.

The blanket and pillows he used to have in his stay with his former family – some people find it comforting to have continually get hold of something that reminds him about the comfort and goodness he used to experience with his former companion in life.

Aside from the things helpful in lessening the child’s despair, some talks between the foster parent and the child.  In some cases, foster parents seek the aid of counselors or psychologists who can help them explain everything to the child.

The foster parent must initiate the heart-to-heart talk with the adopted child.  The adoptive parent must also be open to any questions.  Also, they must have a ready answer.  Some couples/parents can ask the assistance of a counselor or psychologist in order to really have a successful process of dealing with the present sate of adoption, the transition phase.

The most important aspect in this phase would have to be the loving individuals willing to accept and support him.  The foster parent must show their willingness to accept him, including his past.  The child’s former caretaker can also be of great help.  The former caretaker must show that it’s another stage of his life that he must face and nothing should be feared about it.

Suppose a baby is being adopted.  Probably he’d not be so much bothered with his origin as he grows old.  He’s still innocent when his mother negotiated with the stepparent and have him adopted.  Perhaps, the child wouldn’t even suspect.

How about being adopted on one’s toddler years, in his first two years on earth?  If the foster family is indeed responsible and good in treating him, then most probably, less or no problems are to be encountered.  And if problems really come, it is most likely manageable.

No matter at what age one was given to other person’s care, an individual would definitely search for his birth family.  It’s not that he doesn’t like the adoptive family even if they treated him well.  It’s just that he feels a need of knowing the people who are biological related to him.  His responsible foster family might have given him a name,  answer to his basic needs, and companionship.  However, it is but normal to feel the need of knowing his birth family.  He might experience fear, insecurity, or guilt.  But any loving foster family would be willing to be with him at this tough time in his life.  They proved to be supportive to him by doing the obligations that should have been done by his birth family.  There is a great possibility that they can assist him in his journey to discovering his “true” family.

The adopted individual would surely face a seemingly insurmountable fear.  He might be afraid of letting his foster family know his plan of wanting to meet his birth family.  He’s afraid in disappointing or hurting them, which is not always true.  It could be that the foster family has
prepared themselves about the matter or they’re open-minded enough to let him go and meet his long-lost kin.  Foster families take a significant role in this phase of the adoptee’s life.

The adoptee might have thought all this time that he’s been abandoned, unwanted, and rejected.  He may fear meeting his birth family and be rejected again.  But this fear shouldn’t and couldn’t stop the adoptee from searching them.  Time after time, he’d feel the same need of having answer to his questions.   He might also feel guilty of planning to pursue the search.  He might even find it awkward to ask his foster family.

In this quest, an adoptee needs a great amount of courage to face whatever has to be faced.  He needs the support, understanding, and unconditional love of his foster family to sustain him all throughout the entire search.

If you’ve recently adopted a child, you’re probably both excited about the new addition to your family and concerned about her health history. While adoption can bring unique health and developmental challenges, you don’t have to face them on your own: Your pediatrician can help you meet your baby’s specific needs. Here are tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics to get your child off to a healthy start:

* Get a medical evaluation. Your baby’s doctor can assess her growth and development and conduct age-appropriate screening tests, such as checking for possible anemia and a visual or hearing impairment. If your child hasn’t been immunized or if no record is available, she’ll get a full series of immunizations. (There’s no harm in repeating shots if the records are unclear.) You can also ask the doctor to review preadoption files, if available, in order to help you understand any current or potential medical, developmental, and mental health needs your baby may have.

* Be aware that international adoptees may have special medical needs. If your baby was born in a foreign country, the pediatrician may screen her for hepatitis B and C, HIV, intestinal parasites, syphilis, and tuberculosis, in addition to standard newborn screening tests. While some foreign-born babies may be malnourished, they usually thrive on a normal diet. These children can also get several illnesses soon after they arrive in a new environment, but this, too, is generally a temporary condition. Finally, babies from certain countries may be at higher risk of exposure to drugs or alcohol in the womb. Your pediatrician can help you anticipate and deal with any related health or developmental issues.

* Prepare for the future. Begin telling your child the story of her adoption now, and make “adoption” and other related words part of your everyday language. Any level of openness you can build when your child is young will help as she gets older and starts to ask questions. Plan to discuss adoption with your child as soon as she’s able to understand, usually around age 3.

* Deal with others. Even when adoption is handled well at home, there may be relatives who aren’t quite as understanding  — especially when a child is of a different race or from another country. If this happens, explain that your baby is as much a part of the family as anyone else. You may not be able to change their mind or correct old-fashioned thinking, but it’s important to show loyalty to your child. Your pediatrician can be a valuable source of support and can refer you to local community resources for adoptive families. The better you understand adoption, the better you can teach your child to be proud of who she is.