For a husband and a wife who remain childless their top option to refute their longing for a child is to adopt. Fear, however, comes their way upon going through an adoption. Conflicts arise between the adoptive parent and their non-biological child who become exasperated and depressed upon knowing that they are adopted. To reduce the pressure, here are some guidelines on how to handle the baby you hope to adopt.
The prevailing agreement among child experts is for adoptive parents to let their adopted child know about their adoption – and not other people. It is advisable that at age two or three is the best time telling him the reality about his status. This early telling is to be followed up periodically throughout his childhood. Studies reveal that in this way, negative reactions are minimized if adopted children are informed about their adoption before age five.
Keeping adoption a secret is difficult. Family members, relatives and friends could let it slip unintentionally. Or perhaps the adopted child discovers his true identity through his birth certificate, letters or other documents accidentally. Without firsthand information, this child might become irritated from the tease he hear from his friends and classmates, he might even get emotionally upset and disturbed, resulting in a strained parent-child relationship.
It is an obligation to adoptive parents to be open and honest so that the adopted can be free to discuss any topic regarding his adoption. When parents responses are dishonest and evasive, the child may think or sense something for worse than the truth.
Make your child understand that he didn’t come from your body but to someone else. Though it’s like that, tell him you want him and will always love him. You may not have the right answers to his questions, but remember that your emotional tone is as important as the words you say. Your feelings of love, understanding and respect have a greater impact on him.
To be adopted is a privilege. It means that one is desired, wanted and most of all loved. To adopt someone is a decision and that decision is not easy.