By Helen Flores

MANILA, Philippines – Social Welfare Secretary Esperanza Cabral recently said the bill seeking to shorten the adoption process in the country, now ready for signing by President Arroyo, is expected to increase the number of Filipino children declared as legally free for adoption.

Child welfare advocates have also welcomed the recent passage of the bill in the bicameral conference committee.

Cabral said the bill simplifies rules for adopting children in the country and changes the process from judicial to administrative.

The measure seeks the transfer of cases involving the declaration of children legally available for adoption from the Family Court to the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD).

“We always maintain that there is no better environment for children than a family,” Cabral said in a press conference in Quezon City.

Gwendolyn Pimentel-Gana said it used to take three to five years before a child could be legally adopted, but with the amendment of the Domestic Adoption Act of 1995, the adoption process can be done in one to two years.

“In the administrative procedure, declaring a child legally free for adoption will take 24 days from the date of filing of petition with the DSWD, while in the court proceedings the process takes more than one year from the time of filing the petition until the Court releases the order declaring whether the child is an abandoned or neglected child,” Gana said.

Gana said most foster parents prefer infants.

“They want to adopt babies because they want to feel that they are the real parents,” she said.

John Boren, president of the Adopted Families Foundation, said that while he welcomed the approval of the bill by Congress, there is also a need to push for the lowering of fees of lawyers who handle adoption cases.

Boren, a foster parent, said if there is a group of lawyers who would charge lower fees, prominent and high caliber lawyers would be forced to reduce their professional payment.

He said when the bill is passed into law, foreigners like him will find it easier to adopt a child in the country.

The DSWD and child-caring agencies would also set up adoption help desks in SM malls to provide free consultation to prospective adoptive parents who want to seek advice on adoption procedures.

Adoption is child abuse, slavery and rape all combined into one pretty package and marketed to wealthy infertile couples.

The abuse that the adoptee suffers thoughout their lives comes in many forms.  As infants, they are separated from the only person they have ever known:  their mothers.  They are born into the world expecting to have the familiar scent of family and the warm voice they grew accustomed to in utero, and instead, they are handed over to strangers masquarating as “mommy” and “daddy.”  Because of the severing of the child’s most natural bond occurs at a time when the child cannot communicate his emotions and experiences, it is a trauma that will stay with him into adulthood.  Adopted people report to struggle with their identities as the legal lie that they are “as if born to” their adopters works better on paper than it does in the real world.

Adoptees are more likely to be physically and sexually abused.  One fact that the adoption industry would love to ignore is the fact that children are more likely to be abused by people other than their true parents.  This is really common sense.  Mothers have the primial instinct to care for their children and to ensure the survival of their family trees.  For true families, a baby is not valuable for profit but is living proof of the connection of the past and the future.  Parents have the instinct to protect their children.

However, the abuse of the adopted child ins’t the only crime against him.  Adoptees are stripped of their families, given new names and even false birth certificates make up a new generation of slaves in America.  Children are sold like miniture slaves.  Their birth records are alters to reflect the names of the adopters rather than their parents, and their true birth certificate is sealed away.  They are the only Americans who are denied to know their own name and the names of their parents.

Some are abused, tortured and killed at the hands of those who claim to love them.  Once a person has been stripped of their rights, taken from their family, and forced into an uncomfortable lie, there is no such thing as being fortunate.  In their adopters homes, children are the ones who are expected to do the care taking, to compensate for the babies the adopters couldn’t have, to fill the void in a marriage that has gone stale, or to guard the adopters from the harsh realities of the world.  Adoption’s smallest victims become slaves to the lies that surround them.  Denied of their true parents whereabouts, they have nowhare to run.  And they know what is expected of them to be “as if born to” their adopters, to act out the role they were purchased to play.

For foster families who choose to adopt the child or children in their care, there are a number of ways to help these children make the emotional transition from being “a ward of the State or the Court” to being “a son or daughter” of specific parents. While parents may appreciate the difference in the child’s role within their family, children may not clearly comprehend the difference between being a foster child versus being an adopted child when they continue to live in the same family. There are specific things families can say and do to help children understand these differences. This factsheet describes:

* Talking with children about the changes
* Activities to help children understand their own history and background
* Helping children adjust to losses
* Helping children transfer attachments

Talking With Children About the Changes

In preparing to talk to children about the changes that occur with adoption, parents and other caring adults in children’s lives should remember to engage the child in the process and listen carefully to the words the child uses and to the questions the child asks. Questions about the birth family and their status may need to be addressed. It is important to always tell the truth – even if it is painful – and to validate the child’s experience and feelings. While these talks may bring up painful feelings for children, and for parents who love them, helping children to grieve can also help them to move on to a feeling of permanency in their foster/adoptive family.

Talks between parents and children about the differences in status within the foster family and the adoptive family will probably need to be repeated several times and in a variety of ways, so children can fully understand at their own level. It is best if these conversations take place when the parent and child are engaged in activities together. Adoption professional H. Craig-Oldsen offers the following suggestions for making these talks beneficial for the child:

Plan the discussion. In collaboration with the social worker, the parents should decide if they want to talk with the child first and have the social worker reinforce what was said in a later conversation, or if they would like to talk to the child together about the change from being in foster care to being adopted. Parents should be prepared to answer the child’s questions that may be raised by the discussion.

Help the child talk about the perceived difference in his or her own words. The parents should ask open-ended questions of the child such as, “How do you think being adopted will be different from being in foster care?” or “What do you think the biggest difference will be, when you’re adopted?”

Help the child draw analogies to something in the child’s own life. For instance, a parent might say, “This is like the time when . . . .”

There are a number of changes in status that will affect the child, and these should be discussed, depending on the child’s developmental level.

1. To help the child understand the legal differences between foster care and adoption, foster parents might talk about how the adoption court hearing is different from other court hearings the child might have remembered from foster care. Some parents may explain adoption by using marriage as an analogy. The court hearing is like the marriage ceremony, and the adoption certificate is like the marriage certificate that makes the relationship legal and permanent. (Parents who use this analogy should be prepared for questions about divorce, depending on the child’s experience.)

2. Older children who are aware of the foster care board payment or adoption assistance their parents receive might be helped to understand the financial differences inherent in foster care and adoption. These payments might be compared to a child’s allowance; older children may be able to understand the payments as costs to meet the child’s needs. Experienced adoptive parents note the importance of honesty, compassion, and developmental appropriateness in conversations with children regarding these issues.

3. To help children understand the parenting differences between foster care and adoption, parents might remind the child that when in foster care, the parents had to get a permission slip signed by an agency social worker to go on a field trip, spend the night at a friend’s house, or travel across State lines; now that their foster parents are their legal parents, the parents can sign permissions for these types of things without needing to go through an agency or court.

If you’ve recently adopted a child, you’re probably both excited about the new addition to your family and concerned about her health history. While adoption can bring unique health and developmental challenges, you don’t have to face them on your own: Your pediatrician can help you meet your baby’s specific needs. Here are tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics to get your child off to a healthy start:

* Get a medical evaluation. Your baby’s doctor can assess her growth and development and conduct age-appropriate screening tests, such as checking for possible anemia and a visual or hearing impairment. If your child hasn’t been immunized or if no record is available, she’ll get a full series of immunizations. (There’s no harm in repeating shots if the records are unclear.) You can also ask the doctor to review preadoption files, if available, in order to help you understand any current or potential medical, developmental, and mental health needs your baby may have.

* Be aware that international adoptees may have special medical needs. If your baby was born in a foreign country, the pediatrician may screen her for hepatitis B and C, HIV, intestinal parasites, syphilis, and tuberculosis, in addition to standard newborn screening tests. While some foreign-born babies may be malnourished, they usually thrive on a normal diet. These children can also get several illnesses soon after they arrive in a new environment, but this, too, is generally a temporary condition. Finally, babies from certain countries may be at higher risk of exposure to drugs or alcohol in the womb. Your pediatrician can help you anticipate and deal with any related health or developmental issues.

* Prepare for the future. Begin telling your child the story of her adoption now, and make “adoption” and other related words part of your everyday language. Any level of openness you can build when your child is young will help as she gets older and starts to ask questions. Plan to discuss adoption with your child as soon as she’s able to understand, usually around age 3.

* Deal with others. Even when adoption is handled well at home, there may be relatives who aren’t quite as understanding  — especially when a child is of a different race or from another country. If this happens, explain that your baby is as much a part of the family as anyone else. You may not be able to change their mind or correct old-fashioned thinking, but it’s important to show loyalty to your child. Your pediatrician can be a valuable source of support and can refer you to local community resources for adoptive families. The better you understand adoption, the better you can teach your child to be proud of who she is.

The Regional Development Council (RDC) recently passed a resolution endorsing to the local government units (LGUs) the Adopt-a-Malnourished Child Project.

The project is originally a brainchild of the provincial government of Southern Leyte . Because of its success and easy replicability in other areas, Governor Lerias has thought of seeking RDC endorsement of the project to other LGUs through the Social Development Committee (SDC) of the RDC. Earlier, the SDC deliberated on the project and after agreeing to its laudability, the project was then elevated to the RDC for further deliberation. The RDC, during its ExCom and Advisory Committee meeting last March 15 in Pasig City , also found the merits of the project, concurred with the SDC endorsement, and passed a resolution endorsing it to the LGUs for adoption regionwide.

The Adopt-a-Malnourished Project is an alternative way of helping solve the malnutrition problem in the region. Recognizing the government’s limited resources, it seeks sponsors who are willing to adopt a malnourished child. By “adopt”, the sponsor shoulders expenses for the deworming, supplementary feeding and micronutrient supplementation of a severely malnourished child.

The project is implemented following six simple steps: 1) The Provincial Nutrition Committee (PNC) selects the children to be adopted based on the latest results of the Operation Timbang (OPT), 2) Funds are solicited from potential benefactors using a leaflet with built-in sponsorship form, 3) The PNC treasurer receives the money from the sponsor and issues receipt then deposits money in a trust fund for the Project, out of which food supplements and other medical supplies are bought, 3) The PNC turns over the supplies to the Municipal Nutrition Committee (MNC), which is in-charge of distribution to the target beneficiaries, 4) The Barangay Nutrition Scholars (BNSs) do the supplementary feeding, supervised by the rural health midwife, 5) The Municipal Health Officers (MHOs), assisted by the midwives, make a monthly monitoring and physical examination of the children, and finally 6) A progress report on the growth and development of the children is submitted to the MNC, PNC and the sponsors. A working committee must be organized to run the project.

For Southern Leyte , the Project has already helped 19 malnourished children since it started implementation in 2004.

The RDC hopes that the project will be copied by the LGUs throughout the region, especially because as of the 2001 survey of the Food and Nutrition Research Institute (FNRI) , 32 percent of our preschoolers in the region are underweight. The government and private sector should join hands in bringing this figure down since malnutrition is a threat to the development of the region and the country.

A child being deserted by his parents can cause a severe trauma that will mirror through every aspect of child’s life. The baby will experience the mother’s loss as psychological death of his mother.  There will never be closure.

The baby feels he is abandoned and results to a lifelong inability to trust anyone. This experience will gradually affect him all through out his life. That is the reason why most of the adopted child fails to trust anyone because of the fear that he may be left alone again.

The baby perpetually  bothers as to why he wasn’t kept by his mom and will blame himself for not being good enough to be loved. Many adopted adult has this kind of burden that deters a good relationship to others. The child may also feel melancholic and remorseful as if he did something bad that decides his mom to leave  him.

As days pass by and as the child grows up, he may feel that he doesn’t belong to the family where he currently resides and will suffer self-esteem. He may decide not to get involve to any family activities and may prefer to be alone all by himself. He will feel like an outcast within the family who adopted him.

The child thinks of his mother and the reason behind why he was abandoned. This makes sense because the child longs for his mother and misses her terribly!  There is a wound there that can never be filled by anyone other than the mother!  This could cause the child to have trouble concentrating on his school work.  The child may be labeled a “dreamer” or a “bad student” which will harm his chances to succeed in life.  the adopters might not understand the reason for the child’s lack of concentration and this might cause him to be misdiagnosed as having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).  If misdiagnosed, the child will be forced to take medication he will not need.

The child will loose his true identity while the adopters will try to force him to be like them.  The reason for this is so that the adopters won’t be reminded that the child isn’t really theirs.  The adopters would want the true traits that the child inherits from his family to go away.  The child will not be allowed to be himself.

The child will have no sense of his past which will make it difficult to envision his future.

The child may suppress his real feelings and live an emotionally-numb life in order to survive the tragedy of the separation from his mother compounded by his adoption.

As the child becomes an adolescent he will have great difficulty establishing a sense of self because he will have no sense of his true history or heritage.

As the child becomes an adult, he may have trouble choosing a career and a mate due to his fear of committment and abandonment.

The child’s adopters may not acknowledge that raising an adopted child is different from raising a child of their own.  The adopters want to pretend that the child they raised is not adopted but their own child so they force the child to live a lie by wiping out his past and changing his name and forcing the child to become like the adopters rather than being allowed to be his own person. They will further burden the child by telling him that he should forget about his natural parents and be greatful that they adopted him and gave him a home because the natural parents did not.

Nothing anyone says or does can ever make up for the loss of the child’s first family!

The mother will not be able to change the past and undo the lifelong adverse effects of adoption on her child!

Embryo donation is a form of a third party reproduction. During IVF treatments, couples may produce many embryos in their attempt to conceive. These embryos are cryopreserved or placed in a cold storage for use as needed. If the couple conceives without using all the stored embryos, they may choose to have the remaining embryos destroyed, to donate them for research or implantation, or to make them available for adoption.

Embryo donation is legally considered a property transfer and not an adoption. The term “Embryo Adoption” refers to the procedural elements of the embryo transfer entered into willingly by both the genetic and “adoptive” parents and not the legal classification. Legally, embryo adoption is the same as embryo donation.

Genetic parents entering an embryo adoption program are offered the benefits of selecting the adoptive parents from the agency’s pool of prescreened applicants. Embryo ownership is transferred directly from the genetic parents to the adoptive parents. Genetic parents may be updated by the agency when a successful pregnancy is achieved and when a child(ren) is/are born. The genetic parents and adoptive parents may negotiate their own terms for future contact between the families.

Prospective adoptive parents entering a program complete an application, traditional adoption homestudy, adoption education, health checks and in some cases, depending on the requirements of both the homestudy and placement agencies, court certification of adoption eligibility. Their completed paperwork and fees are submitted to the placement agency, which reviews their file and matches them to genetic parents with similar preferences including desired level of openness post-adoption. Genetic and prospective parents are then given the chance to approve the match. Once all parties agree, the embryo is transferred to the adoptive mother’s clinic for a frozen embryo transfer.

None of the procedures involved with embryo adoption by either the genetic or adopting parents are legal requirements of embryo transfer. The process is entered in to willingly by both sets of parents because of the added safeguards, knowledge and communication offered to both parties by the system.

In the world of adoption, embryo adoption is currently our new frontier, brought about by new and newer technologies. But is it the final frontier? Changing family structures, new attitudes and ideas about “love and marriage,” and a population seeking to become parents later in life are also spurring us onward to new ways of thinking about old ideas.

The question each of us will have to answer for herself or himself is, “just because I can do it, should I do it?” And since the topic is adoption, and adoption is about children, will our answers reflect the best interests of our present and future children?

Child abandonment is the practice of abandoning offspring outside of legal adoption.The abandoned child is called a foundling or throwaway. According to a reliable statistics, one baby is abandoned every week. A figure that has trebled in the past decades. Causes include many social and cultural factors as well as mental illness.

One factor that leads to child abandonment is teenage pregnancy. Teenage pregnancy is defined as a teenage or underage girl becoming pregnant.This pregnancy of teenagers are a mere result of the gratification of sexual urges. That pregnancy might not happen only if studies were prioritized rather than having relationships with the opposite sex. No premarital sex, no early pregnancy. Worst thing about this is that it is the child that will suffer. If not aborted, they are abandoned by their biological parents.

Another factor is the family break-up. Family break-ups happen after a long period of misunderstandings, fighting and unhappiness. Sometimes they happen suddenly and it is hard to understand why there needs to be change at all. Children are mostly affected by this kind of situation. If both their mother and father decided to a divorce and one cannot raise their child alone, tendency is that they will abandon their child. This child will become homeless and found himself alone.

Poverty is also another factor that fates to child abandonment. Persons in cultures with poor social welfare systems who are not financially capable of taking care of a child are more likely to abandon him/her. Political conditions, such as difficulty in adoption proceedings, may also contribute to child abandonment, as can the lack of institutions, such as orphanages, to take in children whom their parents cannot support. Societies with strong social structures and liberal adoption laws tend to have lower rates of child abandonment.

Psychologists believe that even short-term abandonment can damage a child’s emotional and social development. “Even short separations could have a negative effect on the child’s ability to form close relationships,” said Dr Michael Boulton, a child psychologist at the University of Keele. “Babies often form attachments with their mother before birth. They know their mother’s smell and turn to them when anxious or distressed. If they suddenly find they have gone it can be very damaging.”

Dr Boulton said that mothers who abandon their children normally do so under desperate circumstances. “Having one’s first child is the most stressful experience someone can go through. Young mothers can be vulnerable, especially if they are alone and do not have the experience or social support to cope.”