By Valerie Kay Gwin,    From  Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul

I tiptoed into your room one night.
I watched you sleeping there.
Your tiny body looked so snug
Wrapped in peaceful slumber’s care.

I thought of how you came to be
The child we’d longed to know.
I wondered at the sight of you:
“How could she let you go?”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I
Felt the pain she must have known.
For I will have to let you go
Some day when you are grown.

A mother I might never meet
Had given me her son.
Yet, surely as you’ve filled my heart,
A piece of hers you’d won.

“How could she let you go?”
The question kept returning.
And in the depths of my own heart.
A question kept on burning.

“How can I ever let you go
When years have come and gone?”
I stood there by your crib until
The nighttime turned to dawn.

And as the sun peeked through the shades,
The voice of God broke through.
“I trusted her to give him life
And now I’m trusting to you.

“To show him what is right and wrong,
to love him and to be
The one who teaches him the way
To come back home to me.

“He wasn’t hers to give, you know.
And he’s not yours to own.
I’ve placed him in your life to love
But he is mine … on loan.”

There are numerous factors to consider in relative adoptions:
*Adoption laws are generally state laws and can differ substantially from one state to another.

*In light of the differences in state adoption laws, the following is general information for your consideration. There is no substitute for advice from a competent licensed adoption attorney in your area who is familiar with the legal intricacies. (To find an adoption attorney, visit the Directory of Professionals.)

*“Relative adoptions” are not the same as “stepparent adoptions.” {For information, see Stepparent Adoption.)

In most states, relative adoptions are treated somewhat less formally than non-relative (”stranger”) adoptions. They may require only an abbreviated homestudy, or none at all. For this preferential treatment to apply, the adoption must fit the definition of a relative adoption under state law. Most state laws define “relative” by degree of relatedness. For example, Arizona adoption law defines a “relative” as “uncle, aunt, adult sibling, grandparent or great-grandparent of the child of the whole or half-blood or by marriage or adoption.” Not fitting in this general definition are cousins of any degree or children of nieces or nephews. You will need to consult your attorney or the specific law in your state.

General Considerations

1. Just as with any adoption, there must be a proper termination of the parental rights of both the child’s biological parents. New birth certificates are issued, and adoption records are sealed in accordance with state laws.
2. Adopting a close relative’s child may be the best solution for the child, but it can cause a radical change in the dynamics of your relationship with that relative. These types of relationships have the potential to become strained or severely damaged due to questions of “quasi co-parenting” and exactly who is the child’s parent. The reality is that this dynamic will be different for everyone involved, including all family members, and extending to other children the biological parents may have now or in the future. You will be confronted with questions of relatedness (is your child their cousin? sibling? aunt? uncle?), among others. Can this be done? Yes. Will it be a snap? No. The openness encouraged in adoptions today will help communication with all parties, and those experienced with relative adoptions strongly recommend counseling before and after the adoption whenever possible.
3. Depending on the child’s age and the circumstances of the adoption, talking to your child about the adoption may involve additional complexities due to previous and current relationships, death and grief, disappointments, and human failings. Do seek out support groups and educational books and tapes.

There are three types of adoption in the Philippines:

1. Agency adoptions are those in which a licensed adoption agency finds and develops adoptive families for children who are voluntarily or involuntarily committed. The adoptive families go through the process from application to finalization of the child’s adoption under the auspices of the Department of Social Welfare and Development or a licensed child-placing agency like the Kaisahang Buhay Foundation. Through this type of adoption, the legal rights of the child, the parents who gave birth to the child and the parents who will adopt the child, are all equally protected.

2. Family or relative adoptions are those where the biological parents make a direct placement of the child to a relative or a member of their extended family with whom they relinquish their child.

3. Private or independent adoptions could either be a direct placement to a family known by the child’s biological parents or through the use of an intermediary or a go-between. In an intermediary placement, an individual knows of parents who want to have their child adopted and arranges such placement to a family or someone who wants to adopt. These intermediaries are generally well-meaning and have good intentions. However, one must be wary of “black market” placements which involve an intermediary who brings together a person who has a child and individuals who want to adopt, for the sole purpose of making a profit. This practice does not consider the best interests of the child nor the legal rights of biological parents and adoptive parents.

The following are components of adoption:

* Recruitment of potential adoptive families who may provide a home to a child;
* Development of adoptive applicants as parents to a particular child in need of a home;
* Selection of a family who can best contribute to the total development of a particular child;
* Preparation of the child and family prior to placement to insure acceptance and readiness for the new relationship;
* Supervision of trial custody for at least six months to facilitate the child’s adjustment in the family prior to the completion of adoption;
* Preparation for removal of the child from the adoptive home if the placement disrupts while alternative plans are being worked out;
* Finalization of adoption and termination of service with issuance of the final decree of adoption and amended birth certificate;
* Organization of groups of adoptive parents as part of support system; and
* Post-legal adoption counselling when adoptive family and adoptee need further counselling related to information about adoptee’s background and search for his/her biological parents.

Effects of Adoption

* Sever all legal ties between the biological parent(s) and the adoptee, except when the biological parent is the spouse of the adopter;
* Deem the adoptee as a legitimate child of the adopter;
* Give adopter and adoptee reciprocal rights and obligations arising from the relationship of parent and child, including but not limited to;
* The right of the adopter to choose the name the child is to be known; and
* The right of the adopter and adoptee to be legal and compulsory heirs of each other.

INTER-COUNTRY ADOPTION
How to Adopt a Child in the Philippines :

Persons considering intercountry adoption have a right to accurate information about these adoptions and the process involved. Such information will enable them to make informed decisions on initiating and completing such an adoption, the kind of child/ren they can best parent, and whether they are willing to make the lifetime commitment which is required.
The Intercountry Adoption Board (ICAB) is mandated by law (Intercountry Adoption Law of 1995 or Republic Act 8043) to be the Central Authority on matters relating to the foreign adoption placement of Filipino children to applicants who are either former Filipinos or foreigners permanently residing abroad. The Intercountry Adoption (ICA) Law stipulates certain eligibility requirements for adoptive applicants intending to adopt a Filipino child who may either be a relative or non-relative.

In the Philippines, Filipino children need to be made socio-legally free for adoption prior to any kind of alternative family placement. In line with the ICAB’s mandated authority is the compliance of the Philippines to an international instrument, The Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in respect of Inter-country Adoption, to which the Philippines is a State Party and is denominated as a Sending Country.

Who is Eligible to Adopt?

Any foreign national or a Filipino citizen permanently residing abroad may file an adoption application if he/she::

1.
Is at least twenty-seven (27) years of age and is at least sixteen (16) years older than the child to be adopted at the time of the application, unless the applicant is the parent by nature of the child to be adopted or is the spouse of such parent by nature. A maximum of forty-five (45) years age gap between the adoptive child should be maintained except in cases where the circumstances will be favorable to the child;

2.
Has the capacity to act and assume all the rights and responsibilities incidental to parental authority under his/her national law;

3.
Has been married for three (3) years;

4.
Has undergone appropriate counseling from an accredited counselor in his/her country;

5.
Has not been convicted of a crime involving moral turpitude;

6.
Is eligible to adopt under his/her national law;

7.
Can provide the proper care and support and give the necessary moral values and example to the child and, in the proper case, to all his/her other children;

8.
Comes from a country with whom the Philippines has diplomatic relations, maintains foreign adoption agencies, and whose laws allows adoption; and

9.
Files jointly with his/her spouse, if any, who shall have the same qualifications and none of the disqualifications to adopt as prescribed above.

Where to Apply?

The application shall be filed with the ICAB through the Central Authority (CA) on Inter-country Adoption or an ICAB accredited Foreign Adoption Agency (FAA) or Governmental Adoption Agency (GAA) in the country where the applicant resides.

Foreigners who file their petition for adoption in the Philippines under the Domestic Adoption Act of 1998 or RA 8552, the Court after finding the petition to be sufficient in form and substance and a proper case for inter-country adoption, shall immediately transmit the petition to the ICAB for appropriate action. The ICAB shall then act on the application following the procedures described in the Amended Implementing Rules and Regulations.

Fees and Other Charges

These fees are provided for by Article III Section 13 of the Inter-Country Adoption Act of 1995 (RA 8043) and Section 29 and 40 of the Amended Implementing Rules and Regulations on Inter-Country Adoption. Effective February 2007, the ICAB fees which applies to all adoption categories (Regular or Non-Relative, Relative, Special Needs, Special Home Finding, Summer Program and Medical Missions) are as follows :

*
Adoption Application Fee–$200.00 (non-refundable upon endorsement of the Adoption Application and Supporting Documents)

*
Processing Fee–US$2,000.00 for single placement; US $3,000.00 for sibling group of 2 or more (as of October 13, 2007)

*
Pre-adoptive placement costs– The amount varies from one child to another depending on what part of the Philippines the child comes from and what country he/she is going to. Some Embassies of the Receiving Countries charge visa fees and require visa medical examinations while others do not. The total amount will be quoted by the ICAB in the placement proposal. (Payment upon acceptance of the matching proposal)

* The finalized Local Adoption cases requiring ICAB’s ratification has its own schedule of fees.

* The ICAB also supports the request of the Association of the Child Caring Agencies of the Philippines (ACCAP) to increase its Child Care Support Fund (CCSF) from US$ 500.00 to US$ 1,000.00 per placement.
* These new fees will not affect prospective adoptive parents whose adoption applications were received by the ICAB prior to February 2007 and are currently awaiting approvals and child proposals. This means that once these families receive a match, they will still pay the processing fee of US$ 900.00.

* All payments (except for the CCSF which shall be addressed to the child caring agency where the child came from) shall be in the form of a company check or international bank draft and shall be made payable to the Inter-country Adoption Board. Personal checks, travelers checks or cash WILL NOT be accepted.

* No adoption application will be processed and no Placement Authority will be issued unless the corresponding fees are received by the ICAB.

Processing Time

Adoption applicants that have substantive Home Study Report (HSR) and complete supporting documents are reviewed and approved within one month from receipt of the adoption applicant/s’ dossier. On the other hand, adoption application with lacking information and/or documents are reviewed and processed depending upon the submission/completion by the Central Authority/Foreign Adoption Agency (CA/FAA) of the requested information and/or documents with the corresponding delay in its approval.
The matching or child referral or allocation largely depends on the stated child preference (i.e. child’s age, gender and state of health or extent of known background) of the Prospective Adoptive Parents (PAPs). This usually takes nine (9) months to one (1) year after the PAPs’ approval. Willingness to accept a special needs child generally shortens the waiting period for child allocation.

Children Available for Inter-Country Adoption

1.
Children available for intercountry adoption placement are those who cannot be placed with an adoptive family in the Philippines.
(For relative adoption – only up to the 4th degree of consanguinity)
2.
All children have to be cleared for intercountry adoption by the Competent Authority – Programs and Projects Bureau of the Department of Social Welfare and Development (PPB DSWD)-Central Office.

3.
Children of either sex are usually available but there may be longer waiting period for girls because of the Filipino culture whereby families hold on to their daughters since they are generally more submissive, less difficult to parent and can be relied upon to care for their family of origin even until parental senescence occurs.
4.
The allowable age of Filipino children for Intercountry Adoption (ICA) is below 15 years old. A child who is above 15 years old may be processed for ICA when the following circumstances prevail:
1.
When the child is a part of a sibling group where one or more is below 15 years old;
2.
If the application for adoption of a child was filed (in cases of relative adoption) before the child reached the age of 15;
3.
Special Home Finding was initiated before the child’s 15th birthday; and
4.
Other situations where the intent to adopt was manifested before the child reached 15.
5.
The general ages of children cleared for intercountry adoption usually range from 6 months to 10 years old.
6.
Special Needs or Hard to Place children include
*
older children (usually boys or girls age 6 to 15 years old)
*
Sibling groups of 3 or more
*
Children with major medical/physical problems
*
Children with major developmental/neurological delay/handicap

Process

Any adoption applicant interested in adopting a Filipino child/ren (either relative or non-relative) may contact the nearest Central Authority on Intercountry Adoption of their country (if Ratifier or State Party to The Hague Convention) or any ICAB accredited Foreign Adoption Agency who is responsible in these Prospective Adoptive Parents preparation and conduct of their Home Study Report.

Documentary Requirements:

1.
Home Study Report
2.
Undertaking of the Couple made under oath (refer to Application Form)
3.
Information and Personal Data Application (refer to Application Form)
4.
Birth Certificate of the Couple (if adopting a relative: Birth Certificate of their common ancestry delineating relationship up to the 4th degree of consanguinity)
5.
Marriage Contract
6.
Divorce Decree (if applicable)
7.
Physical and Medical Evaluation Report
8.
Psychological Evaluation by a duly licensed psychiatrist or psychologist.
9.
Written Consent to Adoption by the biological and/or adopted children who are 10 years of age or over witnessed by the social worker after proper counseling, in the form of a sworn statement.
10.
Character Reference from (a) Local Church Minister or Priest; (b)Employer; (c) Members of the immediate community (who have all known the applicants for at least 5 years).
11.
Latest Income Tax Return or any other documents showing the financial capability of the applicant.
12.
Clearance issued by the police or the proper government agency of the place where the applicant resides.
13.
Certification from the Justice Department or other appropriate government agency of the applicant’s country that the applicant is qualified to adopt under their national law and that the child to be adopted is allowed to enter the country for trial custody and to reside there permanently once adopted.
14.
Letter of Acceptance of the Designated Guardian/s
15.
Recent post card size pictures of the applicant, his immediate family and their home/community
16.
Special Needs Checklist (refer to Application Form)
17.
Self-Report Questionnaire (OPTIONAL)
18. Adoption Decree of the PAPs’ previously adopted Filipino child

#
All documents must be written, officially translated in English and must be officially endorsed by the Central Authority on Intercountry Adoption or ICAB accredited Foreign Adoption Agency to the ICAB in the Philippines.
#
All communications relating to adoption application/s and/or child referral shall be transmitted by the Central Authority or by the ICAB accredited Foreign Adoption Agency directly to the ICAB. Likewise, all ICAB correspondence/communications shall be transmitted directly to the concerned Central Authority and/or the Foreign Adoption Agency.
#

All the Philippine process for Intercountry Adoption (ICA) does NOT require the intervention of a lawyer either in the Philippines or from the applicant’s country of residence.

One factor that leads to child abandonment is teenage pregnancy. Teenage pregnancy is defined as a teenage or underage girl becoming pregnant.This pregnancy of teenagers are a mere result of the gratification of sexual urges. That pregnancy might not happen only if studies were prioritized rather than having relationships with the opposite sex. No premarital sex, no early pregnancy. Worst thing about this is that it is the child that will suffer. If not aborted, they are abandoned by their biological parents.

Another factor is the family break-up. Family break-ups happen after a long period of misunderstandings, fighting and unhappiness. Sometimes they happen suddenly and it is hard to understand why there needs to be change at all. Children are mostly affected by this kind of situation. If both their mother and father decided to a divorce and one cannot raise their child alone, tendency is that they will abandon their child. This child will become homeless and found himself alone.

Poverty is also another factor that fates to child abandonment. Persons in cultures with poor social welfare systems who are not financially capable of taking care of a child are more likely to abandon him/her. Political conditions, such as difficulty in adoption proceedings, may also contribute to child abandonment, as can the lack of institutions, such as orphanages, to take in children whom their parents cannot support. Societies with strong social structures and liberal adoption laws tend to have lower rates of child abandonment.

Psychologists believe that even short-term abandonment can damage a child’s emotional and social development. “Even short separations could have a negative effect on the child’s ability to form close relationships,” said Dr Michael Boulton, a child psychologist at the University of Keele. “Babies often form attachments with their mother before birth. They know their mother’s smell and turn to them when anxious or distressed. If they suddenly find they have gone it can be very damaging.”

Dr Boulton said that mothers who abandon their children normally do so under desperate circumstances. “Having one’s first child is the most stressful experience someone can go through. Young mothers can be vulnerable, especially if they are alone and do not have the experience or social support to cope.”